When Feelings Come Into Play, Communication Isn’t Easy

When emotions are involved, communicating clearly can be a real challenge. Cultural misunderstandings and language barriers often become sources of tension—especially in multicultural relationships.

Language and culture are deeply connected: our cultural background and the environment we live in shape how we think, and therefore how we speak. At the same time, the way we speak also influences the way we think.

These environmental, contextual, and psychological factors play a major role in misunderstandings and disagreements between partners from different cultures. Communication gaps and repeated misinterpretations are among the most common causes of conflict—and can even affect sexual desire and intimacy.

Paying attention to how we speak to our partners, and how we interpret what they say, can truly transform our relationships—and, by extension, our sex lives.

Communicating Better: Where to Begin

Start by resisting the urge to interpret your partner through your own cultural lens or personal assumptions.
Remember that facial expressions, gestures, tone of voice, and the meaning we assign to them can vary widely between languages and cultures.

When we speak to someone we love, our intention is rarely to hurt them. Try to embrace your partner’s unique way of expressing themselves—and encourage them to do the same—with the shared goal of creating a personal, multicultural, and intimate way of communicating.

Be open and honest about how you’d like to be treated and understood in the moment.

HOW? Here Are Some Practical Tips and Examples

Words That Shape Reality

Words can truly shape reality.
What you say—and how you say it—makes a difference.
Words can create understanding and connection where there was only confusion or distance.

The language you use affects how you approach a situation, how you see yourself, and how you see your partner—because words create context.

Pause Before You Hurt

Stop trying to read your partner’s mind, and resist the urge to speak out of anger.
It’s better to take a short break than to shut down completely and avoid the issue.

If you’re not ready to continue a conversation, be honest: say that you’re feeling overwhelmed or frustrated, and that you need a moment to calm down. Take a break—but agree on when you’ll come back to talk—and then follow through.

When you do, focus on sharing feelings—yours and your partner’s.
The only rule: nurture empathy and avoid criticism.

Connection and Empathy

During difficult conversations, try to maintain eye contact—or even a gentle physical touch.
Remember: facial expressions, gestures, and tone can vary not only among cultures but also among individuals.

When we communicate with someone we love, we rarely mean to cause pain.
Welcome your partner’s expressions (and encourage them to welcome yours) with the intention of building a shared, personal, and intimate language together.

Speak in the First Person

Be open and receptive, and express clearly how you would like to be treated or understood in a given situation.
When doing so, make sure to speak from your own perspective—using “I” statements:

“I felt…”
“For me, this experience was…”

Share what you felt during the discussion and describe your point of view.
Don’t make assumptions, and speak only for yourself.

Listen and Validate

Make space for your partner’s emotions.
Give them time to express themselves.
Remember: the goal is dialogue, not winning an argument.

Acknowledge and validate each other’s perspectives with warmth.
You can say, for instance:

“It sounds like you’re worried, stressed, or sad.”
“I can tell you’re angry—I understand.”

Shared Responsibility

Take a moment to reflect: what were the initial agreements between you?
Have you kept your word? How did you express yourself—both in words and in tone?
It might be worth acknowledging your own share of responsibility, too; rarely is one person entirely to blame.

At the end of the day, you’re on the same team.
During disagreements—and after them—remember the love that connects you.
You don’t want to hurt the person you love.
Disagreeing doesn’t diminish the affection you share.

And finally, ask yourselves:
Do I hear you, or do I truly listen to you?
Do you hear me, or do you really listen to me?